HE WAS A SWEET AND TENDER HOOLIGAN
AND HE SWORE THAT HE'LL NEVER NEVER DO IT AGAIN
AND OF COURSE HE WON'T
NOT UNTIL THE NEXT TIME

POOR OLD MAN
HE HAD AN ACCIDENT WITH A THREE BAR FIRE
BUT THAT'S OKAY
BECAUSE HE WASN'T VERY HAPPY ANYWAY

POOR WOMAN
STRANGLED IN HER VERY OWN BED AS SHE READ
BUT THAT'S OKAY
'CAUSE SHE WAS OLD AND SHE WOULD HAVE DIED ANYWAY

DON'T BLAME THE SWEET AND TENDER HOOLIGAN